Deluxe Megazord Pack

I’m here three sheets to the wind so of course it’s a logical time to talk about Power Rangers, the modern incarnations of which I know almost nothing about. So it makes perfect sense for someone like me to review them. The sad fact is that nobody at CDX gives a crap about the US versions of the Power Rangers, wisely choosing to stick to the JP versions. However, I run this shit show, and I know what gets us views, and that my friends is Power Rangers. At least it used to be. Each time I go to Toys R Us I struggle with the idea of purchasing the latest Megazords to review, largely for click bait, but common sense keeps me from buying them, and rightly so. But what am I to do when I am confronted with not one but TWO Megazords on clearance at WalMart for only $15 bucks?!?

I buy that shit, I drink up, and I make a video review.

Below is that aforementioned video review. I did it months ago, and I figure April Fools Day is a good day to embarass the shit out of myself and show it to you. But wait, not only did I video review it, I shot pictures of it! Therefore I will also WRITE about it for your reading pleasure.

ARENT YOU LUCKY!?!?!

Full disclosure – I shot the video and the pictures months ago. I promptly put the toy back in the box, where it now languishes in my storage unit, far, far from the keyboard on which I write this. The following could be filled with lies and and misinformation. Sorry. Drink up bitches.

THE BOX.

It is a box. It is a large box. It is a large cheap box, with lots of words on it. Many many words, that say many many things, but you know what is not mentioned even once on the box?

THE NAMES OF THE F*KING MEGAZORDS.

If you collect these guys, this is a pretty rad deal. $15 bucks for two Megazords that retail for about $30 each. I feel like I got my moneys worth.

Lets start with the red dinosaur megazord, who is apparently called DINO CHARGE MEGAZORD (Thanks Sinigy). Like I said, wouldn’t have hurt to put the names on the box, would it?

The Dino Charge Megazord is made out of three Megazords. The first one is a pink Triceratops. Because why not. Guess which one the girl drives? Even in this modern age, not only is the woman not allowed to drive the main megazord, but she gets stuck in the PINK megazord. But I digress.

The pink dino is all plastic, and has moveable legs and a moveable jaw.

The jaw opens and you are supposed to put a dinosaur battery in its mouth (don’t ask why) however this set came with no batteries. That’s right, the entire gimmick that the series is based around, and not one of them included in the DELUXE pack. Way to go Bandai.

Next is the blue dinosaur. He looks like a stegasaurus, but I failed dinosaur school so what do I know? He’s blue, his legs move, and his mouth opens, to graciously accept the holy communion of the dinosaur battery, that once again, IS NOT INCLUDED.

Then there is the Red T-Rex, because if it’s one thing Super Sentai needs it’s More Red Dinosaurs.

Once again, you are supposed to open the mouth and put a Dino Charge battery in, which would activate the yellow horns on the head. But your parents bought the wrong set, so you will just have to imagine what it would be like, or maybe you will put a dead AA battery in there that will do nothing, get jammed, and never come out. That would be fun.

Anyway, you split this thing into pieces, and reconnect it in such a way that it resembles a robot.

It’s not a bad looking Megazord to be honest. It’s easy to snap together, sturdy, and has a couple cool weapons.

Don’t forget to put the yellow tail bit on the back like I did.

The other megazord in the pack is called the Ptera Charge Megazord, and unlike the Dino Charge Megazord, this is one zord that makes one robot. It’s rather cool looking I think.

In dinosaur mode its a Pteradactyl, but it’s not a great mode in my opinion. The bottom of the zord is a mess, and the head falls off easily.

Now there are two ways to display this zord, and I’m not sure which way is right. One way is to have the dinosaur’s beak be on the chest, (as shown in photos on the box) and the other removes the beak and has a black chest piece (as shown in the package). I have no idea which way is right so whatever I don’t care anyway.

The shoulders feature spring loaded cannons, which are activated when you insert a dino charge battery in the chest, WHICH YOU DO NOT HAVE BECAUSE THE SET DID NOT COME WITH ANY. Just saying.

COMBINE THAT SHIT.

Basically, attach the Pterodactyl to the back of the Dino Charge Megazord, add a helmet, and you get Dino Charge Megazord: Tri-Stego-Ptera Formation! I looked that up on a Power Rangers wiki, then I started to read about the zord, then I felt dirty, then I took a shower immediately after.

Combined it’s an ungainly clusterf*ck of a robot, and this is only two zords combined with each other. I get tempted each time I see another Megazord on clearance to see just how far I can push this but then my therapist advises me against it.

So there you go, I reviewed a new Megazord, and it only took 4 drinks and April Fools day to make it happen. Now lets let the page hits roll in so I can quit this gig and retire to the Maldives.