Golion

I’ve always done most of my toy spending during the day and maybe sometimes at night while I lay in bed. This time around I was awakened by my phone alarm. It’s 7am and it was time to go to work. I shut off the alarm and realized that I got a message from our own Nekrodave. He alerted me to an eBay item I might be interested in. I took a gander and sure enough I was. It wasn’t even 7:05am and I was already broke.

My friends, this here is the item that tickled me enough to spend more than a casual collector would want to spend on an item of this nature. Here he is in his box which he comes in. It features a nice picture of Golion on the front similar to the Godaikin Golion set.

The side of the box advertises the contents with a nice big font.

It’s when you start looking closer that you realize something is off.

For what’s inside is truly horrifying if you were a kid expecting to find inside what is shown on the box. That’s right, what you see is not what you get. What you do get is a homemade-looking Golion. My real Golion was unavailable to do a size comparison, but they are about the same size. In fact, It looks like the chest crest sticker is the same one used for Lionbot.

This is a face only a crazy Voltron/Golion collector could love. And even then it’s a bit difficult. No, I didn’t forget to fold out the yellow ears. You can’t. Notice the panel lines on the wings. It looks like someone scribed them with a toothpick on clay. Notice also all the wavy edges. No tools were used in the manufacture of this figure. Some chinese dude was given the job of creating the mold master of this toy. “Hey, here is some clay and some toothpicks. Make this robot on this box… you got a half hour.”

“…no thanks, I don’t need a straight edge.”

Somehow there was enough time to work in articulation in the arms. Very surprising.

The hands are also articulated so that you can recreate the look of the robot on the box. Right down to the red lion being on the wrong side.

The back is just as painful as the front. Slightly less painful since you can’t see the face in this view. Some details are painted with a brush and the fine lines in the paint prove it. The rest is sloppily sprayed on.

Whoever sculpted this did a nice job considering. They did their best to make this look like a real Golion. So long as you are viewing this from a quarter mile away.

I don’t know what religion it is where whatever you create is given a spirit, but you can see the depression these guys suffer forever being part of this crazy figure.

The lion leg sculpting isn’t too bad, considering it’s made out of silver marshmallows.

What? no chrome-elbows?

AAAHHHGG! A little warning before zooming in please!

All kidding aside, as horrific as this is, I LOVE IT. It never existed to me before I was introduced to the listing and I do not regret throwing money at it. In fact when I saw it, I threw my credit card at the screen, then I realized I had to hit “buy it now” to own it. I’m sure some of you look at it in disgust but it’s not everyday you run across this…unless you own it, then you probably do.